I have traveled a lot more by road than any other form of transportation within Nigeria. This list is focused on the most popular kind of people I find really interesting during a road trip and I’m sure you must have met them too if you are an avid traveler.
Ride along with me.
These ones appear in various shapes and forms. However, a few of them are more popular than others. There’s a class that starts to sleep as soon as the start of the journey. They barely wake up until someone tells them we’re now at the last bus stop. They mostly go past their bus stop too, no matter how long or short the trip is.
The other class starts theirs in the middle of the journey. You wouldn’t even know they’ve started until their snoring gives them away. And if you are unfortunate enough to be seated beside them, your shoulder will serve as a soft spot to lean on, and if they find it comfortable enough, they can bless you with a few drops of saliva. They are usually quick to tell you “sorry”.
This class is slightly more annoying than the slippers simply because of their insensitivity. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with making or receiving calls during a trip, but why on earth should one be that loud? Why.
These guys are less concerned that you might be listening to all they are saying. You heave a sigh of relief when they finally finish a call, only for their phone to ring again for another marathon. Their phone battery never goes low, neither do they run out of airtime.
It usually starts from the park. They will patronize all vendors selling anything edible. From plantain chips to boiled eggs to Bigi cola. The incredible thing about them is they usually finish everything. Some of them are nice though, they offer you a portion of everything they buy.
This class knows all the roads that lead to the final destination. Whenever the driver takes a road they aren’t pleased with, you’d see their true colour. The interesting thing about this class though, is that they are usually helpful with helping strangers with an accurate description of addresses. The downside is that they tend to talk too much.
9 out of 10 times, you will never suspect them until they start. armed with a (bagko) bag filled with varieties of drugs ranging from Malaria, Fever, Worm (the most popular), Manpower, and in some extreme cases, HIV/AIDS drugs.
At first, you’d think nobody is paying attention until the Pedler says something like: “You can get this drug in the pharmacy but you will never find it at a price this cheap.” Then you’d see how fellow commuters will start stretching forth naira notes.
The Mobile Church
Since I started traveling, only once have I seen a Muslim preach. I love the ones who do it solemnly as though it were a conversation though. But you see the ones that pick up with an alarming song of praise? They tend to be the most annoying as they care less about the faith, belief, or even the mental condition of whoever is on the bus. They sing, preach, and pray all the way to the last bus stop. Some take it a notch higher by collecting offerings.
I’ve really seen things but I’m dead sure I haven’t seen it all.
Which class have I not mentioned? Please let me know in the comment section.