Okay, I have to make this really as brief, clear and concise as I can because my boss might jump in any f*cking moment from now. So I enjoin you please flow at my pace so we don’t get drowned even before the start of the journey.
It’s no news that I’m now a graduate. Ayeeee! even though I’m not too pleased with the Nigerian educational system- little thanks to my mum and my bad gang who forced me into attending the convocation ceremony.
So all through the event, I thought endlessly about how to reward myself for all the stress I had gone through while in school. I told my mentor (Babatunde Oladosu) that I needed an adventure and to my surprise, he didn’t just advise me on where to go, he also sponsored the whole trip!
Warning: Don’t go and be farmzing him o. stick to your own menthol and use it to clear your breath.
IN THE BEGINNING
Exactly two days after the said orientation, the son of man headed straight to Oshodi (one of the most popular bus parks/markets we have in Lagos state) and boarded a bus destined for Ilorin, kwara state. Being the first passenger on the bus, I decided to find out the cost of traveling to different places in south-western Nigeria by bus for the sake of subsequent travels.
see them below:
I chose a seat directly opposite the driver and waited nearly close to 2 hours before the bus finally got filled around 3pm. It headed to the notorious Lagos-Ibadan express way.
In no time we invaded Ogbomosho slicing through the not just okay Ibadan and Oyo road, and with our driver constantly switching between 80-100km/h, we landed at the last bus-stop called “General”. We alas got to Ilorin.
We all alighted while I immediately deactivated my phone from the airplane mode it’s been since I was halfway into the journey. I called Tayo (my eventual host) who happened to be a friend I met in 2010.
The bikers were the first to charge at me on seeing i just received a call. This was the only clue they needed to know I was a first timer. I almost took to my heels on seeing how hungry they were before deciphering they weren’t there to harm me.
How much is post office?” I asked one of them following what Tayo told me. The short looking demon wasted no time in saying “ from here to post office na #500 o“. I didn’t remember if I hissed or slapped him, all I knew was that I did something which got him angry that he said some swear words which I didn’t care to reply as I stayed clear from him.
Not long after, a cab pulled right beside me and I jumped in without asking his price when he asked if I was going to Tipper Garage- another bus-stop where I was told I could get post office . All I knew was that it was sure going to be cheaper than the useless bike man. I was charged #100. I joined another bus to post office and finally saved #350. Tayo was already waiting, so we both joined a bike to Tanke, a popular bus stop (especially among Unilorites) after the normal ritual of hugging and rounds of handshakes running into 30. The biker (who was now getting impatient) asked for his money and Tayo passed him a #50 and he zoomed off.
The first shocker I got was when i observed that no single streetlight was lit in Ilorin ( a whole state capital). It was so appalling that i had to do a short video while on the bike.
see it here as Tayo tried defending the obvious.
We hopped into a bus destined for Unilorin as we gisted all through the journey. On getting in, Tayo spilled the bad news as we strolled through the almost-quiet school. Then I started missing my Alma mater–
“Negro, I’m sorry you won’t be able to crash with me in the hostel tonight o. Our school is especially strict about that but since it is late, there is another alternative which I think will work so that by tomorrow, i can take you to where i have prepared for you.”
I understood him perfectly but wouldn’t stop wondering why a higher institution should be acting that way. I accepted my faith and agreed to his only alternative which made that night the worst of my nights in Ilorin. Please don’t tell Tayo I said this o. Ah! the son of man suffered…
The story continues in another 24 hours…
Read about my disappointing road trip to Badagry
The interesting one I had on my way to Ogun state